invest.fail
invest.failbetter late than never

Your worst financial decision,
suitable for framing.

Tell us what you didn't invest, and when you didn't invest it. We'll calculate what it would be worth, print it on an official Certificate of Failure, and email you the evidence.

Certify my failure →See a specimen

NOW CERTIFYING: CRYPTO · STOCKS · PROPERTY, SUPER & COFFEE — MORE WAYS TO FEEL BAD, SOON

★★★★
invest.fail

— be it known —

CERTIFICATE OF FAILURE

invest.fail hereby issues this document to the bearer,

Your Name Here

(yours, if you’re not too embarrassed)

who, since 2017-08-17, declined to invest $50 per week in Bitcoin, and as a direct consequence does not currently possess

$102,790

but is, in fact, the proud owner of: strong opinions about negative gearing, deployed at dinner parties.

FAILURE · CERTIFIEDFAILURE · CERTIFIED★ invest.fail ★★ invest.fail ★FF

Data provided by CoinGecko · not financial advice

LIVE FROM THE TIMELINE WHERE YOU LISTENED

$50 a week into Bitcoin since August 2017 would now be

$0

TOTAL PUT IN $23,350 · STEVO MENTIONED THIS AT A BBQ

Pick your poison

OPEN

Crypto

The coins your mate wouldn't shut up about in 2017.

SOON

Property

Your parents were right. Quantify it.

SOON

Super

The 1% fee that ate your retirement.

OPEN

Stocks

Index funds. The boring thing that worked.

SOON

Coffee

$5.50 a day, every day, since 2014. Sit down.

How it works

Fig. 1 — the declarant

— 01 —

Declare

The coin you ignored, the date you ignored it from, the amount you definitely could have spared.

Fig. 2 — the notary

— 02 —

We notarise

Deterministic arithmetic on public price history. Not advice. Just receipts.

Fig. 3 — the graduate

— 03 —

Frame it

A Certificate of Failure, suitable for printing, framing, and blaming Stevo.